Monday, February 20, 2012

Yesterday We Celebrated Our Would Be 16th Anniversary

My husband and I had a whirlwind romance, which resulted in us getting married four months after we met.  No, I wasn't pregnant.  Everything was so magical and amazing that we just went for it.  We hadn't even gone to the movies before we got married.  I still can't believe it happened the way it did.  We got engaged after our first official date, which was a concert to see the Stylistics, The Delfonics, and a few other folks. At the time I was looking forward to our 10th and 15th year anniversary.  We decided that year fifteen I would get another wedding band to match the one I had.  Sadly we only stayed married 4 years.  When what I believed was our would-be 10th anniversary (turns out it was our 11th), I called my ex-husband out of the blue and told him we needed to celebrate.  He didn't really want to, but we did.  We went out to dinner and I insisted on paying for my own dinner.  I guess I should have paid for both since it was my idea.  He was noticeably nervous the whole time.  I remember saying, "What's wrong.  It's not like we haven't eaten together before."  After dinner, I said thanks and I will see you in five years to celebrate again.  Well that five years was June 2011.  We tried to celebrate it then, but life got in the way.  We finally celebrated our would-be 16th year anniversary yesterday.  He cooked me a really nice dinner complete with freshly brewed Jasmine tea and wine.  He was much more relaxed than he was five years ago.  We had a really nice time.  I sure hope we are both here to celebrate our would-be 21st anniversary.

June 26, 1995. I was 26 yrs old.  We had an outdoor wedding at the park.  We rented two pavilions. One for the ceremony and one for the reception.  It was the kids idea and it was fine with me.

I made the invitations.

My brother gave me away.  My husband sang me down the aisle to "A Whole New World".  This was the first time I had my hair cut that short.  It's hard to see here, but it was an awesome cut!  The back was layered for days.

My twelve year old stepdaughter, Alicia, played the flute for our musical selection. My 16yr old stepdaughter, Angelica, was the videographer.  It really was a family affair.  All of the kids played a part.  

Lord knows I didn't remember what my cake looked like until I took out the pictures today.

We were sooo happy that day.

Hard to see my ring, but it is a beautiful champagne diamond ring and my wedding band had diamonds all the way across.

I had a serious tan that day.  So did my ex, but he needed one.  The kids really made me feel loved and wanted from day one.  This is the daughter who recently called to tell me she was getting married in this same park as a tribute to us.  She also asked for my help because she didn't know anything about weddings.

My 8yr old stepdaughter Carmen holding my dog Teddy.  He doesn't have on his doggie tuxedo like I thought.  I remember now that I got the doggie tux shortly after I got married.  That is my then 10 yr old stepson, lil' Russell.  He used to have a big curly fro, and every time I see Julian (from my videos) I think, he looks just like lil' Russell.  All three seem to be in a reflective mood.

My ex with hair.  My ex has a lot of qualities that  Rod has.  He's very outdoorsy, a great cook, and a wonderful father.

Shortly after our wedding, I won a Service Excellence Award at Kodak and the prize was a trip for two to Disney World.  Who was babysitting the 5 kids, 3 dogs, and a cat?  The kids' mom, who stayed in our home with them the week we were away.  She lived over an hour away and it was just easier.  I have to say babysitting because at this point she was only attempting to see the kids about once a year.  See there is hope for Melanie, Rod, and Danielle.

Disney really is the most magical place I have ever been to.  This horse and carriage was just sitting outside our hotel.

We don't know these little girls, but we asked them to get in so we could take their picture.  So if Rod and Danielle end up in a horse and carriage you will know where that idea came from.

Here are my five full-time stepchildren.  My oldest, Angelica was 16yrs old and my youngest was Cedric who was 6 yrs old.  They were a fun bunch.  This was me introducing the gang to my mom for the first time.  Imagine her surprise.  

I didn't get the ring on my would-be 16th year anniversary, BUT, I did return my ex's wedding band to him yesterday.  So there was a ring exchange.  He had no idea that I had it.  When I took it, 11 yrs ago my thought was always to pawn it.  I am very glad that I didn't.  Now if I could just find my rings..... 




23 comments:

  1. Wow, I'm so sorry things didn't work out. But it seems like you really bonded with his kids... and that is just about as amazing as it gets!

    And it's pretty amazing you guys can still get together for a dinner... there are so many couples who can't even talk to each other anymore!

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  2. Looks like it was a beautiful ceremony and it's really cool that you and your ex can still have a good relationship. Still, can't beat a good pup for companionship! hee hee!

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  3. Hello from Spain: congratulations on the wedding anniversary even though you have divorced. It is equally romantic. I loved seeing your wedding dress. You were very beautiful. I also went to Disney but that of Paris. It is very beautiful and spectacular. What a big family you formed with your stepchildren. You were many at home. It is unfortunate that follow not married. Were doing very good match. I'm glad you and your ex are friends. Keep in touch.

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  4. Heather - I have a knack for keeping people in my life. I really enjoy having wonderful people in my life, even if we are just friends.

    Vita Plastica - He and my pup did not get along....at all. He still talked about that yesterday, 16 yrs later. Maybe after my doggie dies he and I will get back together. LOLOL!

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  5. Marta - Oh my, Disney in Paris. I must put that on my To Do list. I can't even imagine how magical that is! That reminds me, I forgot to ask my ex to help with Rod and Danielle's wedding. He did such a great job pulling ours together.

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  6. Thanks for sharing all the beautiful pictures of your happy day! Now I see more clearly why your videos have such a sweet vibe. How wonderful that you and your ex can still cherish those memories even though you are not together.

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  7. It is great to see the waters where the inspiration springs from. Great wedding shots! I love the shot of the kids. I love that there is still a good relationship and not drama. That is a gift!

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  8. limbe dolls - Even though we don't talk to or see each other very often, I know that I can call on him if I need him and vice versa. When I had to put my other dog down, he offered to come take him in for me. In my mind he and I were good friends right after he signed the divorce papers. It took him a little longer to recover.

    Ms. Leo - Thanks. It really is hard for me to do drama in my stories because I've strived so hard my whole life not to have any. I won't say there hasn't been some, but for the most part my life has been exciting, but drama free. The hard part for me is trying not to make my stories too much like my real life because no one would believe them. Heck, I lived my life and I don't believe it either.

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  9. How bittersweet, but yet very beautiful photos. It's nice to see that you and him still keep in touch, when most people in the same situation rarely do. I wish you both the best.

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  10. Nice story Vanessa. I almost teared up. You guys made a nice couple.

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  11. You had a beautiful wedding.

    It's wonderful the two of you remain cordial and that you still have a good relationship with your ex-stepchildren.

    dbg

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  12. In A Dolly's World - Thanks. He really is a great person and I think I'm a great person. We just weren't great people together. At least not at that time.

    Georgia Girl - When I was 24 I had a little sister through Big Brothers, Big Sisters. Her mom had remarried and her father had remarried. His new wife was Caucasian. I am only saying that to show the different dynamics. Her dad and his new wife used to come to her house and hang out with her mom and stepdad. Sometimes it was just her mom and stepmom hanging out. The mom and stepmom became best of friends. Usually on Friday or Saturday night, they would play cards or something together. I don't know how long it took them to get to this point, but they did it. I remember thinking, "These people got it right!" None of them had higher than a high school diploma, if that. That was my model from that day forward. I couldn't call myself a highly educated sister if I couldn't get that right. I've seen it in action and it's a beautiful thing. I am always very happy when one of my exes (boyfriends or husband)finds someone that makes them happy. Who sits around wishing misery on people all the time? I just can't do it. Sometimes I think I am more excited than they are when they find a good woman. I guess I just don't do hate and resentment very well.

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  13. DBG - Thanks! I was headed to the Justice of the Peace until I spotted the dress. Still hard for me to believe we got engaged and married in 4 months! I haven't even been able to do Rod and Danielle's wedding in 4 months. He and I are more than cordial. I really do consider him a friend, now. All 3 of my girls (at different times) have thanked me over the past 2 years for helping them become good mothers. Of course, you know I cried.

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  14. Note to All: What would Danielle do with all those kids? She would probably do what I did. First I instituted date night. So every Friday Night my ex and I would go out. I was worried about the kids getting enough time, so I put parent/kid day together. Once a week I would take the 2 younger girls out to do something. My husband would have to take the 2 boys out to do something. Then the next week, I would have the boys and he would have the 2 girls. Our oldest was working at Wendy's, so we did things with her when we could. But doesn't that sound like something Danielle would do? That was a lot of kids, but they were operating like a well oiled machine by the time I arrived on the scene. He had them fed by 5:30pm and the 3 youngest had 7:30pm bedtimes.

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  15. VAN! You are killing me here and you know why! LOL Do I hear saxophones playing in the background? LOL

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  16. You were a beautiful bride, and the ceremony is full of love, it doesn't matter what happened after, that day was special and it can be seen even now!

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  17. Gwen - One really never knows what the future holds. But you really can't read a lot into this. I am good friends with most of my exes. So there is a whole orchestra playing in my life and different people are playing the instruments.

    Rosetti - Thanks. It was a beautiful day and I am happy with my current relationship with him and the kids.

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  18. Male Doll World - Thanks. We had a really good time.

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  19. I agree you did look beautiful and had a beautiful ceremony. I am sorry things didn't work out for you two but it's so great that you can get together and celebrate it anyway. Maybe something is still there. Maybe there is still hope? Sorry I am a romantic.

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  20. April - Thanks. There are a lot of you hopeless romantics out there. If there is another wedding in our future, my blogging friends will be the first to know.

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  21. Hi Vanessa, I don't know how I missed this post, but I'm here now! You were a lovely couple and I love all the photos. The relationship you have now is wonderful...and I love you for living your life this way! You are a special person young Lady! Love you!

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  22. Loretta - Thanks sweetie. I appreciate that. It takes a while for people to realize I don't have any ulterior motives. Once they do, they come on board with my "crazy" ways.

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