Friday, October 12, 2012

I Went With Mommy Today

Hello guys.  This is a partial personal post that I considered not doing, but there seems to be a number of people deciding not to continue their doll blogs.  Completely understandable.  Blogging should be fun and not all consuming.  This is interesting because in the past two weeks I too have been completely confused about my doll world.  No, I don't want to stop my blog, but I've been trying to decide where I should put my focus.  Should it be furniture, food, wood projects, or videos/photostories....or that big doll project that is on the back burner waiting for me to move forward.  To add confusion to the pile, I took a doll, per request, to my doctor's visit last Friday.  The request was made because the people in the doctor's office, that read the FDQ article, kept thinking I made Barbie dolls.  Since the article refers to dolls I've made in the past, but shows only pictures of Barbie dolls, the confusion is understandable.  So I took a porcelain baby doll, I made years ago.  Of course, one of my doctors decides to order one for her daughter.  In my head, I said, "Heck no! I'm already having trouble focusing on what doll projects to do. We are NOT adding porcelain dolls back to that list."  But when I spoke, it sounded like this, "Sure I can make one for your daughter."  Who said that!  Could not have been me.  Then she asked me to bring a doll each time I come to the office.  I know I am asking for trouble, but I enjoy having my dolls with me.    

Today it was this beautiful little girls chance to get out of the basement.  Boy was she happy!  She made lots of friends who oooh and ahhhed over her.  All she wanted to do was get down and crawl around the doctor's office.  She was totally fascinated by all the needles and IVs.  She liked when the nice nurse brought us hot chocolate the best.

She had a good time, but was happy to get back home.

So what have I decided about my doll world?  My doll world is bigger than me.  I was reminded of that when I received two separate emails this week.  One was from a young lady who said (paraphrased), "I've been a fan for a long time, well since I was 11.  And I love your blog and your stories."   I fell out laughing.  She is now 13, and for someone that young to stay with me for two years, is impressive.  The second email was from a 9 year old who wanted help doing dioramas.  I get emails and messages all the time.  Some of them are so heartfelt about how my dolls have touched their lives.  So my decision is, I will continue doing what I do.  There will be stories, a few videos, food and furniture.  I will not feel guilty about not painting the porch.  It will get done.  If I am tired from chemo, I will not feel guilty about not doing a story.  Bottom line, I will not feel guilty. I will have fun and continue touching lives.  

P.S.  I've been on a new treatment for almost two months and it's now working!  Yay!  Even though it's chemo, it's not the really toxic kind.  I won't have a lot of side effects.  I won't lose my hair, but it may get a little thinner.  Occasional numbness in my legs, toes and hands, but for short periods of time.  Some fatigue, but nothing crippling.

46 comments:

  1. Glad to hear your doing well! That's what I pretty much do, post when I can, and not feel guilty. Actually the reason I started my blog was so I could not feel so guilty about the immenseve money I spend on dolls LOL. I don't feel guilty because it's mostly just a side thing for me. A peek into my world, not a full fledge look.

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  2. Verona - Thanks. That's a great way to do it. It can get overwhelming at times. I am still really enjoying doing it, and that's the most important part.

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  3. Vanessa,
    I really enjoy your blog...stories, food, furniture, thrift store finds, everything. You've provided me with some good ideas for my own dioramas in Barbieville. Thank you! Your health comes first, however, so continue to take care of yourself. No guilt necessary...:-)

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    1. Cindi - Thanks for continuing to follow my blog. This blog took off once I got diagnosed. It is what gives me the desire to continue my fight, so it's not going anywhere.

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  4. You need to do what's best for you and blog when you want. Your doll world should not be stressful. Life can be stressful enough as it is. I'm glad to hear your treatment is going well.

    And that doll is beautiful. Such a precious face!

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    1. Alura - I am so addicted to blogging that there will always be regular posting. Blogging still brings me incredible joy. Glad you like my little girl. They are like the little children I never had.

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  5. wow, your girl is gorgeous! I can see why all the doctors fell in love. I hope your health continues to improve.

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    1. queen - Thanks! Glad you like my little girl. Thank also for your well wishes.

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  6. Vanessa,
    I agree with Cindi whole heartedly. Plus, I have to say that your blog has opened a whole new doll world for me. I stayed up late night after night once I discovered your blog catching up. I was amazed and so excited. Then through your blog I discovered other great doll people and blogs.
    So, keep doing what you do but at your own pace and in your on way. Trust me, you're so talented that your doll friends and customers will gladly wait with patience and enthusiasm!

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    1. veda - Awww, I am touched by your comments. Sometimes I take a moment to look at my past dios and I think wow, that was a lot of work. When I am doing the stories and dios, they are a blur. I am always happy looking back at past stories. So they will continue. I have lots of stories still on the table.

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  7. Hello from Spain: Vanessa I'm worried about you. I did not know that you were receiving chemotherapy. I hope you are in good health soon. I'm glad to hear your treatment is going well. I'm glad that you decide to follow your blog because you do a great job. Your blog is always inspiring to me. I created my blog because of you. I also collect dolls babies. Your baby is very cute girl. We keep in touch.

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    1. Marta - Don't worry. I was on a chemo pill the past two years, but have had to change to infusions. It's not as bad as I imagined. It's even better now that I know it's working. I'm so happy that you did start your blog. You have also inspired many with your incredibly detailed and informative blog posts.

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  8. I didn't know about your chemo, and if I admired you and your work, now that feeling has been multiplied... I suffer from a chronic degenerative disease, and I have a treatment that will last as long as I live, that makes my stomach and articulations hurt, but by no means it is as hard as chemo, no matter how "non-toxic" it is. So I just can say a big THANK YOU for all your work, your wonderful world of dollies, stories and dios, that as I have told you before, are always inspiring to me. THANK YOU for keeping this blog up, and not quitting. And as you said, don't ever feel guilty, as that feeling would spoil the fun of this hobby/passion we share. And finally... that dolly is simply awesome, she's sooooo cute I understand your doctor! Hugs and kisses!!

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    1. Rossetti - So sorry to hear about your chronic disease. I know how crippling that can be. I will be on some form of chemo for as long as I live, so I do understand. I'm glad you enjoy my blog, just as I enjoy yours. Seeing all of your fashions inspires me to sew more.

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  9. Hi Vanessa, you are in my prayers. You have such talent and such a wonderful way of telling the stories with the dolls- when I read your post about your doll world is large I laughed- because I also have big dolls too- who have props- such as my American Girl dolls and bjd's. Like you, I felt guilty a bit about it. When I began collecting I realized quickly I needed to focus on what scale, etc. or else be overwhelmed with cluttered rooms with big and small doll furniture & dolls, with no direction! Also, blogging should be fun...I did a blog post last night on where I am in the middle of two projects and realized, no blog post. I think now I wrote it because I did feel guilty I had posted nothing. Also, day to day life and all the other responsibilities and worries creep in on our carefree doll worlds. I have to say my dolls live better than I do and have no bills to pay, or hectic schedules, LOL...
    I wish you to know you are in my thoughts and prayers for your health, and I love visiting your blog.

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    1. Lisa - Thanks for your prayers. The big dolls are fun, but they do take up a lot of space. My dolls live a good life, so that's why I make them work for their keep. They are going to start promoting even more products. They just don't know it yet. Thanks for your continued support. I enjoy seeing the wonderful work you do in your Barbie town.

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  10. Hi Vanessa,

    I so admire your courage to forge ahead and continue sharing all of your wonderful talents despite your illness. All of your creative endeavors are inspiring. Your work is healing not only for you but also for the large community of readers you have followed. Thank you so much for all you give.

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    1. limbe dolls - Thanks so much for your encouraging words. I love sharing and experiencing other bloggers doll lives. It's hard to believe dolls can bring about so much joy.

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  11. That baby is adorable! I am so glad you will continue and do what you love and can. I imagine it takes up a lot of time and energy to do what you do. Continue to do you, and take care of yourself - I know you will. Stay strong and you're always in my prayers my friend.

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    1. Kenya - Thanks. It's nice to be reconnected with my babies. I have to get back to my stories. I don't want to disappoint your mom. LOL! Tell her we are about to get back into it deep.

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  12. Your baby up top is so pretty! I have seen your precious babies in person, so I know what a treat that was to take her to your doctor's visit. You have the gift of creating...period. I love all of your work and if truth be told, I always save your post for last because I know it will be so worth the wait.

    I pray that your health continues to improve. Have a very happy Saturday Vanessa!

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    1. Georgia Girl - As with a lot of us, dolls have been in our lives one way or another, for a very long time. Isn't it great that we still enjoy them so much. You, too, have the gift of creating. I hope we will get to see more of your work. Thanks for being such an avid follower.

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  13. Omg, that's me!!! I've stuck with this for two years, and I have never been disappointed. I'll be a fan even if you stop posting!

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    1. Barbie's Generation - Thanks so much for being there the past two years. That means an awful lot. I have no plans of stopping my blog. I had a momentary brain fog, but I am now clear on what I will move forward doing.

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  14. Hello Vanessa, i'm from Brasil and since i started lo follow tour blog. I'm addicted!
    I Really sorry for your disease. I wish you the best and hope you get better soon.
    In the past tão months i've alredy read all your posts and seen almost all of your vídeos. I love your blog. I'm glad you dont want to stop it.

    I'm sorry for the bad english

    Kisses
    Alessandra

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    1. Ale - Thanks so much for following. Thanks also for your well wishes. I will be getting back to doing videos in the near future, too. Your English is just fine!

      Hugs!

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  15. Hi Vanessa, Im glad the new treatment is working. Blogging and all the other stuff you want to do CAN cloud your head, especially since there isn't enough time in the day. Im glad you have decided to continue because I LOL I mean we need you. Anyway I have a question for the master are you ready? You have a Tariq doll by integrity toys right, well did you rebody him I want to rebody him and Janay so bad I could spit and I dont spit. My email is mustiwait@yahoo.com in case you lost it. I would appreicate any thought or ideas. Have a great Saturday.

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  16. Vanessa, I hope you feel better soon,and I'm glad to hear you're staying with with your doll site, because I love it.

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    1. drupay - Thanks! I'm glad to be better, too. I am happy to be back on track and not stressing about life.

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  17. Vanessa, Hi and glad to read that the new medication is working better than expected. Whew! Sorry about the side effects though.

    Glad that you are continuing the blog. It is inspiring to see all that you do and have done here. Storytelling, diorama creating, photography, posing, sharing tips, etc.

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    1. D7ana - Thanks. I am so addicted to blogging, I would have had serious withdrawals if I had stopped. I still have lots of props to use. Not to mention, I think Melanie may have found a new man. Stay tuned.

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  18. Vanessa, I am glad you decided to continue your blog and stories. I found you one night a little over a year ago. It was a night shortly after my breast cancer diagnosis and I could not sleep. I read your personal story and was so inspired. I also just love your stories and was sad when I got all caught up because it meant that I would have to wait for the next installment.:) You and other like Roville, Dollies Series, etc have inspired me to play. I think it is good therapy!
    I have gone thru the worst of my cancer and had a double mastectomy with reconstruction. My Barbies and the stories on the web have been a wonderful distraction as I get lost in the fun! I am thinking someday I might start my own photostory -- who knows!
    I hope your health gets better -- I will pray for you. Thanks for your wonderful doll stories!

    Phyllis

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    1. Phyllis - Your story brought tears to my eyes. I am so sorry for what you have experienced. Hearing that diagnosis is so unreal at the time. I am glad you have gotten through the worst of it. My dolls have kept me going through all of this. I don't know what my state of mind would be if I wasn't creating with the dolls. I still have lots of stories to tell and lots of props to show, so stay tuned. We will be resuming our regularly scheduled program soon.

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  19. My Dear Friend,Vanessa!!!

    This post took me by surprise,and I apologize, if somehow was not completely inside some previous information.
    I did not know you were in treatment my friend Vanessa...
    And I'm impressed and happy with his personal strength and positive attitude.I'm also glad to know that all your wonderful doll universe will be YES,with you and all of us enchanted with your creativity.

    Creativity is synonymous with skill.
    And the same skill exterior that makes you create such beautiful pictures and stories,will make you create inside of you the power of full restoration of health.
    And your dolls and doll universe,are much more important than ever,and very inspiring for yourself and for all of us!

    Get my tightest hug and my best wishes for healing and happiness!
    From Brazil,Your Friend,

    ______________________________ JorgeRamiro.

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    1. Hello Jorge. I rarely talk about my condition, but there have been a couple of posts. One with all the gory details almost two years ago. I just try to stay positive and more forward with all that I have planned. Nothing like cancer to put a fire under your feet to get you moving. It completely takes about your desire to procrastinate.

      Thank you for your wonderful words of healing. I truly live each day to the fullest now and encourage others to do the same.

      I can feel your hug all the way over here. By the way, hang gliding is on my bucket list and no better place to do that than Brazil!

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  20. This little girl is adorable, but I've told you that before. It is understandable that she was a big hit at the doctor's office.

    Blogging should be fun, not a chore. If it becomes a chore or something forced or stressful, it is time to give it up and I would understand that decision.

    I will continue to blog as long as my passion for dolls continues and as long as my love for writing about my passion continues.

    I am happy your posts will continue and that your new treatment is working.

    GIG.

    dbg

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    1. DBG - Thanks. She was eating up all the attention.

      Blogging for me has never seemed like a chore. I really am addicted to it, and hold back from posting at times for fear of posting too much. My dilemma centered around feeling like I needed to focus on doing one or two things, not 15 million. And with that whole Adsense fiasco, I was really perplexed. But I've decided, I like doing the stories, the food, the furniture, etc. I was the only one putting pressure on myself to FOCUS. But I've now given myself permission to continue just doing all of it.

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  21. Vanessa, you could blog only once a year instead of daily and I would still follow you. I like the content of what you provide and share - the time frame of when you, or anyone, chooses to post should be up to the individual. I sometimes think that people pressure themselves into posting and then get overwhelmed.

    I'm so glad this new treatment is working better for you!

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    1. Muff - Awww, shucks. LOL! As I mentioned in the response to Debbie (DBG) above, I haven't been overwhelmed from posting. I've pulled back on posting because I don't want you guys to have to read too much. LOL! If you haven't noticed, I love doing lots of different things. So I started having this urge to sew and sell clothes for the kids, the men and the 16" dolls. Then the urge to start sculpting babies (something I've been meaning to do for years), entered my mind. Then I decided to just do food and focus completely on that. Every time I looked at something else, I would change my mind instantly. It was crazy. I was sitting in the dentist office, looking at a cookbook, and said, okay it's going to be food. In walks this lady with the cutest baby in the cutest outfit. Just that quick, I said okay, so does this mean it's supposed to be baby sculpting and kid outfits? My craziness was never about whether I would blog or not, it was the indecision about what I would move forward creating. I've nixed all those extra ideas for now, and will continue with the path I was on.

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    1. Sarah - I left a message on your blog. I guess you didn't get it yet. Check your comments.

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  23. I'm glad to hear your new treatment is working well (and that explains your comment about the number of needles you were having). Cancer is a tough thing to fight. In fact, one of the things that I've noticed in reading though these comments and other's blogs lately is how many of us are dealing with serious health issues. You're right, dolls are good and fun therapy - and your porcelain girls are beautiful. As for the blogging, just do as much you can when you want and as long as you enjoy it, we'll go along for the ride. And I'll be praying for you.

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    1. Carrickters - Thanks for the prayers. I, too, have noticed how many people are dealing with serious illnesses. I love blogging. No problem there for me. It's my desire to complete and master every project I've ever wanted to do, that was stressing me out. I'm much better now.

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  24. I'm with Marta, I didn't know you were doing chemo either. I won't pry but I hope it's helping you and you'll be cured. I think your dolls and blog are a type of therapy, I know it is for me. Not going thru what you are but it helps with the stress of my job. Always have so many ideas in my head but getting them on my blog, is a whole nother animal. Take care, Van!

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  25. I love that little girl doll! Use to have fun with my niece Taylore and buying dolls for her. Even though she is grown up she has a baby girl and now I can start all over again! Can't wait till she is old enough for us to go to American Girl store in NYC and browse around. I swear, it's more fun for me.

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    1. pattisdolls - For the past two years I've been able to take a chemo pill. It's only the past two months that I've been taking injections. They tell me this particular cancer is incurable, so I will be doing chemo some type of chemo for as long as I live. But considering it all, I am doing well.

      We have an American Girl store here in Atlanta. It is always fun to go hang out there. I need to schedule another trip there. It's been a while.

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